Nobody wants to be sad. However, sadness is healthy!
The emotion of sadness is essential to our survival and has been part of the human experience since the beginning of time. Grief is our body’s way of telling us that an event (such as the death of a loved one, divorce, betrayal) and/or an internal experience (such as thoughts, beliefs, memories, our imagination) has hurt or upset us.
As children, sadness expresses our distress, and our parents respond by helping or comforting us while we cry. As we grow up, we learn about grief, betrayal, and devastation, and very quickly sadness can turn into excruciating pain. How our loved ones and society deal with grief will affect our willingness to allow our grief. For example, it would be difficult to cry if you believed that others saw you as “weak” or if a friend told you that “there’s nothing to cry about.”
Why should we allow ourselves to be sad?
Feelings of sadness, anger, fear, and joy are basic characteristics of our emotional mind, and they all play an important role when we emotionally process life’s events.
The function of grief is twofold: to let us know that we need to grieve, and to seek out those who love and support us. But this is often easier said than done. People understand the role of sadness and why they need to allow themselves to feel it, but they don’t know how to relate to the feeling when they have avoided it for so long.
Experiencing painful emotions is an essential component of the medicine and changes us. We need to be patient so that in the end, when we are restored, we set an example of hope for others. After experiencing this vivid spectrum of emotional pain, we naturally become aware of and empathize with the plight and pain of others. In other words, compassion also awakens. We all feel the loss. Everyone is connected spiritually; and through this holistic connection, we can help each other with our honesty and courage. It’s just the way it is.
Struggle against the loss and destruction if you want, but remember to admit your helplessness and surrender completely, crying from time to time in anger, frustration, and sorrow. You’ll feel better about it… and so will everyone else!